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You up on a site or social mediacreate a profile, and now you are ready to write your first online dating message to someone who caught your eye, but you freeze when you try to type the words. Should you start off with a simple hello and see if you get a response?


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Struggling to come up with an online dating first message that will get a response? Research shows people really like hearing or reading their name. A general rule of thumb for an online dating first message is if you can organically and naturally work their name in, you should. This will pull your match out of auto pilot swiping mode and switch her attention to you. Jumping right into a specific convo shows experience chatting up women. You : Peanuts or almonds?

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Krystal Baugher. There was a time I even created a blog to showcase some of the best of the worst because I felt the world should share in the horror with me. I try not to lose hope that there can be some genuine connections made through meeting someone on of the internet.

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Plenty of people seem to prove that every day. Thus, making an introduction easier and far-less intimidating.

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Others try the online equivalent of a catcall. It seems crazy, I know, but take the one or two minutes it takes to actually read the profile. This will help spark an idea about where to take the message.

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Three sentences are all you need to write in a first message—this establishes your interest and initiates conversation. Compliment on a general interest not physical appearance.

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Oh hey there! I can totally get down waxing all philosophical like while watching Arrested Development and drinking mugs full of coffee.

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Did you see that Jeffrey Tambor has a new series? Oh hello…. Are you into her at all?

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Though the message is short, it creates a commonality and allows for a dialogue to easily start. Of course, finding your own tone and voice will definitely help too. Krystal Baugher lives in Denver, Colorado. She is the founder of Go Eat a Carrota website dedicated to exploring the worlds of pleasure and politics.

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Find her on Instagram to stay up to date with all of her shenanigans.